Yesterday I was so tired. I woke up at 6.30 but didn't really feel like getting out of bed..so I picked up a weighty tome, 'The Eight' and I couldn't put it down. Also, I kept falling asleep and having such vivid dreams that I just woke up even more bleary eyed sleepy. I hauled my sorry arse out of bed to have lunch with a friend, and then came home and read and slept some more. I just feel so tired sometimes. Tired of doing everything on my own. Tired of being a single mum, of not having family support, tired of dealing with all business comings and goings on my own. Sometimes my shoulders aren't broad enough to cope with it all and I feel weary to my bones. And sad. Sad that I didn't make different choices in my life when I was younger. Sad that I didn't grow up feeling loved and confident. Then I slowly got out of bed, threw some clothes on and walked for hours with my dog. Ended up at a friend's house and played chess. Sigh. I also just finished a brilliant book, called the 'Kite Runner'. One of the saddest books I have ever read, but also so compelling in the way it was written. What a sorry race we are. It made me feel really sad about the way we universally communicate. Lies, deception, power, war. Show me a relationship, any relationship, where there isn't even the slightest element of these things.