I feel like there is an underlying sadness in me at the moment and I don't really know what it's about. Well, specifically. It could be a few things. I'm worried about how I'm connecting with my girl. She's a real Daddy's girl and sometimes it's hard not to take it personally. Feels like rejection sometimes and then I feel that no matter how good a parent I want to be-I suck. It could be this guy I've been seeing. I mean it's really good. We have a fun time, communicate well, talk and laugh a lot, but something 's missing. I don't think he wants to commit to me. Fair enough really. Work, when it's happening is fantastic, but the client I am waiting on is waiting on the tax department for approval and in the meantime, I feel like I'm letting down a lot of people who are waiting for me. But mostly I think, I just feel so god damned boring. I need an adventure. I need to assume another's identity for a while and be someone else who thinks differently and does differently to me. Has different patterns and old belief systems. Preferably someone who is all sorted out professionally, has a boy that loves her, and a daughter that can't think of anything better than to be with her Mummy. Oh, and a dog that doesn't bark!!

Is that too much to ask? Really?