A couple of weeks ago a guy heard about me
He rang me
I talked about strategy
About new technologies,
We had a few meetings
I talked about algorithms,
About databases, tracking
Yesterday we met with the ex CEO of Village Roadshow and Philips
Today they made me a H U G E offer to do some work for them
Like HUGE
Like the kind of money I have fantasised about winning
Or being bequeathed by some benevolent stranger
And I feel a calm inside of me like panic
Like those music videoclips where one person is standing totally still while the world rushes around them
Like it's so big I can't get my head around it
Can't quite believe it's real
And it's not yet..but maybe soon
Real soon
And these guys are really good guys
Guys that could really mentor me
Or highlight what I think I know.
At 34 this could be the golden opportunity of my career
And I think I'm ready.
Yeah, I'm ready.

Driving like a maniac
rushing rushing
faster forgetting
walking aimlessly
wandering
wondering
why the black dog is back
when I have worked so hard
and achieved so much
so organised
new toys
new heights
love in my heart
car pristeen fixed
happy little girl
lungs clearing...
tears tears go away
come again another day.

I used to sit in front of my computer and check out who was on line, catch up on everyone's news in the blogger world, read through my emails, write a few, muck around doing surveys, read the news headlines, follow links that inevitably lead to places I don't want to go...now I sit in front of my desk and research, and proof, and customise crms and try to remember who needs to be paid and download photos, information, specs....
I want my toy back!