I am in Melbourne visiting my brother and his lovely family and something has changed. I don't see these guys very often, with the tyranny of distance, work and kids, so it doesn't surprise me that I feel this way.

You know what it's like when you have space, people change, children/gardens grow, spaces evolve. But this time, I can see me. I have changed, or maybe become more 'me'.

I feel so calm. So centred and I can feel their response to me is different.

There is an easiness now that I rarely feel. A trust, a handing over, a community or equals and respect. No longer just 'little sister'.

And it's lovely.

There is an absence of judgement from them, and from me. Instead an easy rhythm with a slow, steady beat. An absence of frenetic anxiety and internal chatter.

And I know I'll be back soon.